Yesterday was my last day in school, as an adviser and a DLA teacher. Undeniably, I’ll miss everything, the school, the environment, all my students, co-teachers, the paperworks, the routines, events, the place and even all the toxics that I endured. It was a great risky step for my career, to just leave everything after I get used to it. But that’s life. You need to step backward a little be able to maintain the momentum of moving forward.

This step was already my plan a year ago. I just postponed it because I really want to be totally prepared for it. And yes it’s true, even if you’re 101% sure of your decision, life will still test your preparation. You’ll never know until you’re already there. I’m struggling and I know I will still struggle until I found the job that I’m really dreaming of.

I don’t really have any plans to apply for any part time jobs, but I don’t have a choice. We have bills to play. I need monthly savings. As much as I want to pursue just my passion, I know I can’t sustain our lifestyle with that.

It’s a very long way to go… Unlikely, it’s not as easy as people could imagine. I know time will come that I’ll be questioning myself if I’m still doing the right thing but I’m also pretty sure that it will worth the struggle. It still depends on me, on how I will execute my plans.

Quarterlife Crisis as they call it. Finding it hard to choose what you really want to pursue in your life, determining your purpose, feeling insecure about everything you see on social media, comparing yourself to other’s success, family and inner pressure, lack of motivation on doing things that you want, depression and anxiety attacks caused by irrelevant stuff and everything. I know it’s not just me whose on the same scenario right now.

I only have one tip for you, just keep going. No matter how hard it is, go through it. If you have unfinished work, sit and do it. If you can’t still determine how you will start pursuing your passion, list it down. Enumerate ways on how you can start it up. Take little steps. Feeling unproductive? Get up and walk along the street. By that way, you’ll be able to reflect a little bit about yourself and how you’ll find motivations to take one step at a time. Stuck? Search for intellectual and creative references. Read books and blogs that will add up to your existing idea. Stress? Catch up with your friends. It will loosen you up a little bit. It will also remove all your insecurities.

Life will never be perfect nor fair, it is not how we imagine it. It make look pretty easy for others, but trust me it’s not. We don’t have any idea on where they gone through before having the life they wanted. And even now, neither of us know where they are still struggling at. Social media hide the reality between people. We can make the people see how we wanted to be seen. It filters all our problems and conflicts through beautiful and idealistic pictures.

So you girl, never stress the hell out of you just because you can’t see yourself on the figure of others. You are uniquely beautiful. You are exceptionally skilled and talented. Show and share it to the world.